Waiting Is the Hardest Part
by dave-d
Summary: Life as a mother and wife of a Mithril Soldier is not always easy for Kaname. Things are especially hard when her third child nears birth, and Sousuke is long overdue.
1. Default Chapter

MONDAY  
  
The alarm went off, its raucous buzzer dragging Kaname from the depths of a fitful slumber. The noise continued, insistent.  
  
"Sousuke, turn that damn thing OFF" she said, arm swinging in a familiar motion.  
  
She struck the bed, not a body.  
  
Reality marched in, single file, setting up defensive positions. A cold feeling started in the pit of her belly and began to spread outward. Biting her lip, Kaname placed her hand on her abdomen, feeling the baby kick. She needed to focus on hopeful things. She could not afford to fall prey to despair and melancholy.  
  
"Shhh...she might hear you..."  
  
"No...don't shush me...you're not my boss...she might hear YOU...."  
  
"No...you...."  
  
"Shhh...."  
  
"Don't hit me!"  
  
Kaname couldn't help but smile, a feeling of maternal love filling her. The children were up, waiting for her. Two heads peaked in around the door frame. She closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep. That would set them to scheming.  
  
"No. Not asleep. She's just pretending. She's thinking of father." Moto spoke with complete certainty.  
  
"I miss Daddy, too. Where'd he go, Moto?" Tomoe wanted someone to jump on. She couldn't jump on her mother.  
  
"Don't know.......... Mithril........... where's Mithril?" Moto sounded puzzled.  
  
Kaname sat up in bed, so quickly that she felt somewhat dizzy. Where had Moto gotten THAT word.  
  
Mithril.  
  
Had Sousuke let something slip? Had her son been approached by someone from that organization, or someone pretending to be? This required an answer, now.  
  
"Moto, come here." Kaname sat on the edge of her bed, sliding her feet into warm slippers.  
  
The children walked in slowly, warily. They did not like the tone of their mother's voice. Tomoe walked directly behind her brother, one hand clutching his pajama tail, the other hugging a tattered teddy bear. Moto put on a brave face, holding his shoulders back and chin up.  
  
"Yes, mother?"  
  
"Moto, where did you hear the name Mithril?" Kaname's gaze was intense. Her hand had a firm grip on the bed spread.  
  
"Uh---"  
  
"Moto...."  
  
"Uh---"  
  
"MOTO! Answer me." Moto knew better than to hesitate when she used that voice. He was his father's son, after all.  
  
"I heard it from you, Mother." His voice sounded quite certain.  
  
"I don't remember EVER saying that word around you, Miyamoto."  
  
"No, mother. I just heard it in my head. I saw Father's face... felt you were sad and scared... and heard the name Mithril... I don't know why." He was curious, not frightened.  
  
Kaname bit her lip, hard. She could taste the metallic taste of blood. Her hands spasmed, opening and closing. Moto had picked that up from her mind. How?  
  
There could only be one explanation. She had been deeply worried, and had been thinking intensely about Sousuke. Her mind must have been broadcasting, in a way most people's mind could not.  
  
Moto was likely a Whispered, just like his mother.  
  
The fact stared her squarely in the eyes, refusing to back down. This was not a good thing. This was not the time to be faced with such a worrisome reality. Kaname did not feel the pride a physician feels when his son or daughter graduates from medical school. She did not feel the satisfaction a father feels when his child takes over the family business.  
  
This was not a moment for celebration.  
  
She felt the suffocating grip on her lungs that she had once felt felt long ago.... When she finally realized just what being a Whispered would mean to her life. Things had gotten better in the world, thanks in part to Mithril. But, it was always hard being different.  
  
Kaname needed Sousuke.  
  
She wanted him by her side more than ever.  
  
Both of the children were very quiet, their eyes riveted to their mother's face. Something was wrong. They just didn't know what. Wisdom often comes with age, but long years are by no means a prerequisite.  
  
"Tomoe, you asked me how to draw horses. Let's go get the crayons, and I will show you." Moto spoke to his sister, but his eyes were still on his mother. Her look was distant, troubled.  
  
"Yay! I'll beat you there...." Tomoe scampered off, bouncing off a bed post and the leading edge of the bedroom door.  
  
With one final glance at his mother, Moto followed his sister.  
  
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Stirring a second bowl of oatmeal for Tomoe, Kaname watched while Moto demolished his third. Tomoe remained immaculate, as did the table in front of her. Oatmeal dotted the table in front of Moto, looking like islands on a topographical map. That analogy was not lost on her son: he pushed the droppings around a bit, stared at them, and pushed them some more. He hummed happily as he built mountains.  
  
"Look mother...Japan." Moto was proud of his handiwork. It was fairly accurate. It would take some work cleaning up, but it WAS educational.  
  
"What's Japan, mother?" Tomoe asked her question absentmindedly, more intent on making a decision on what to do with her next bowl of food.  
  
"Sheesh, dumbell. I told you before. Six times." Moto was incorrect for once. It had been seven times.  
  
"Moto! Tomoe, Japan is the nation we live in." Kaname shook a finger at Moto.  
  
"Oh. Thanks, Mama" Tomo made a face at Tomoe, who readied a spoon of oatmeal. "Is Daddy in Japan too?" She made another face, sticking out her tongue.  
  
Kaname almost dropped the bowl. The overwhelming blanket of fear, sadness, anger, and uncertainty threatened to smother her again. She was saved by three sounds. A splattering 'thwock.' A triumphant yell. An indignant yelp that soon devolved into tears and incoherent screaming.  
  
Moto was holding his spoon over his head in triumph.  
  
Tomoe was using her pajamas to wipe oatmeal off of her face.  
  
"DAMN YOU TWO!!!" It had slipped out before Kaname could stop it. She was shocked more than her two children, both of whom stared at her as if some beast had crawled out of the kitchen sink.  
  
Moto dropped his spoon and put both hands on his head, in a fashion he had seen his father do before. Tomoe's face clouded up quickly as she prepared to cry.  
  
"Breakfast is over for the both of you." Regaining her composure, Kaname would use this incident to her advantage.  
  
"We will NOT have a repeat performance. Ever. Moto, you will clean the table. Tomoe, you will clean the floor. When you are finished, you will brush your teeth, get dressed, and comb your hair. Do you understand?"  
  
Kaname walked out of the kitchen after seeing both children nod their heads. She was shaking, nearly in tears herself.  
  
DAMN THAT SOUSUKE!  
  
Where was he?  
  
Was he safe, unharmed?  
  
When would he return?  
  
She went into her bathroom and closed the door. When the shower was ready, she disrobed and immersed herself in the massaging spray. Try as she may, she couldn't wash away her fears. Sousuke had been gone twelve days now. By his account, travel should have accounted for one day, while briefings and preparations should have used up two more. At most, the mission itself should have lasted no longer than three days...if it were successful. She had waited until yesterday to use the transmitter.  
  
No one knew where Sousuke was. No one would tell her the outcome of the mission. Situation permitting, someone would contact her as soon as they had definite information.  
  
Her tears were lost in the torrent of water. She shook her head, trying to shake away an unwanted reality. Placing her hands on the wall, Kaname leaned slowly forward, resting her forehead against the cold tiles. For the second time in her life, she cursed a fax paper she had mistakenly looked at:  
  
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t: CAPT. SAGARA  
  
Urgency level - 10  
  
Secrecy level - 9  
  
Refusal level - null  
  
WORMWOOD HAZARD CONFIRMED  
  
Immediate disembarkment imminent.  
  
Return route SHITENNO, parcel method.  
  
Mission clock 72 hrs, running.  
  
Standard pack.  
  
f: LT. CMDR. BEN-ELIEDEN  
  
-----------------------------------------------  
  
She had seen more than was good for her. Top urgency level. No option for refusal or for support-only roles. Near top secrecy level, effectively excluding her from asking any questions or expecting any answers.  
  
She had seen the words "WORMWOOD HAZARD."  
  
She had felt entitled to some answers.  
  
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Driving the kids into school had been Hell. No, it was not the traffic--- that was no different than any other day. It was not the children---if Moto and Tomoe would be that well behaved every day, Kaname would consider having another three or four children.  
  
Everything she drove past seemed to remind her of Sousuke. Their favorite roadside cafe. The laundromat they routinely frequented after they moved into their first small apartment together. The family-owned book seller Sousuke always liked to say he struck gold at. The ice cream shop he always took the children to.  
  
Kaname caught herself again. She kept falling into the trap of thinking and reacting as if Sousuke was dead, and would never return home. When she wasn't doing that, she was trying to shake off the feeling of shock, the unwillingness of her mind to let her admit that things were any different than usual.  
  
She wanted to scream.  
  
She felt out of touch with reality and wanted to break free. Her denial led her into a session of bargaining with both God and Fate. There was a whole list of things she was willing to change, willing to sacrifice, if only Sousuke would return safe and sound.  
  
She would be going into work late that afternoon, after she kept her final obstetrical appointment. Sitting in the waiting room, she looked at the other expectant mothers. They all seemed so cheerful, so fortunate. She couldn't imagine that any of them had any hardships to deal with. She felt isolated and alone.  
  
She couldn't look at the women who had been accompanied by their husbands.  
  
While she waited, she picked up a scratched and battered children's version of Aesop's fables. She teared up slightly. They had a more complete version at home---Sousuke had been reading to the children from it nightly, just before he had left on his mission. She could hear his voice then, reading exercpts from 'The Tortoise and The Hare,' 'The Wolf In Sheep's Clothing,' and 'The Grasshopper and The Ants.'  
  
Of course, after explaining the main moral of each story, her husband had the habit of bringing in examples from military history or current events.  
  
'Slow and steady wins the race.' Or, so the moral to one of the more common tales went. She was doing what she could. She was hanging in there. But she hadn't won anything! Sousuke had NOT come back home.  
  
The facts were daunting---they threatened to kidnap and murder her faith, leaving it lifeless in some gutter. The mission was long overdue. There was no word FROM him or ABOUT him. It took hourly calls from her to convince the Mithril Dispatch to spill the beans: back-up teams from different subs had been sent in.  
  
She could do the math.  
  
The answer suggested a catastrophic failure by the initial team. In all likelihood, that meant her children would be without a father.  
  
She had been Kaname Chidori before she became Kaname Sagara. Kaname Chidori had been resilent and resourceful. She had NOT been a quitter. A change of name...years with a kind and dependable soulmate...two-and-a-fraction children...none of that could wash away her foundation. Once again, she was able to escape from the melancholy that threatened to suffocate her.  
  
Just barely.  
  
Kaname remembered a parable Sousuke had once told the children, similar in some ways to one of Aesop's fables, but with an entirely different message.  
  
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The Tortoise challened Achilles to a race, claiming that he was certain to win as long as Achillesg gave him a head start. Achilles laughted at that, of course, for he was a mighty warrior and exceeding swift of foot. The tortoise, on the other hand, was heavy and slow.  
  
"How big a head start do you want?" Achilles asked the Tortoise, trying to hide his smile.  
  
"Ten meters," the reptile replied. "That should prove sufficient."  
  
Achilles couldn'thelp himself. He burst out with laughter. "You will surely lose, friend, if that is all the head start you have. But, let us race, if you wish it."  
  
"On the contrary," the Tortoise said confidently. "I will win...and I can prove it to you by means of a simple argument."  
  
"Go on with it, then" Achilles replied, feeling somewhat less confident than before. He knew that he was the superior athlete, but he also knew that the Tortoise had the sharper wits. Achilles had lost many a bewildering argument to the Tortoise before this.  
  
"Suppose," began the Tortoise "that you gave me a ten meter head start. Would you say that you could cover that distance between us very quickly?"  
  
"Very quickly!" stated Achilles.  
  
"And in that time, how far ahead should I have gone, do you think?"  
  
"Perhaps a meter---definitely no more than that" Achilles said after a moment of thought.  
  
"Very well" said the Tortoise, "now there is a meter between us. And you would no doubt catch up that distance very quickly?"  
  
"Yes. Very quickly indeed!"  
  
"And yet, in that time, I shall have gone a little further, so now you have to make up that distance, yes?"  
  
"Hmmm. Y-e-s-s-s" Achilles said slowly.  
  
"And while you are doing so, I shall have gone a little way farther, so that you must catch up the new distance" the Tortoise continued smoothly.  
  
Achilles said nothing.  
  
"And you see, in each moment you must be catching up the distance between us...and yet I---at the very same time---will be adding a new distance, however small, for you to catch up again."  
  
"Indeed. It must indeed be so" Achilles said wearily.  
  
"And so, you can never catch up!" the Tortoise concluded, sympathetically.  
  
"You are right as always" Achilles conceded.  
  
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Kaname shook her head, smiling ever so slightly. Even though he was not there, the memory of Sousuke had something to teach her. What an amazing man. How fortunate she and the chlidren were. The Tortoise's argument had been brilliant, seemingly faultless from the point of view of pure logic. In reality, the argument would be proven false. The same could be said for her argument that she was most likely a widow.  
  
"Mrs. Sagara, the doctor will see you now."  
  
Those were the words that Kaname had been waiting for. The check up went well from a medical perspective. The baby's heart rate was strong and regular. He--the child--was oriented for a vertex birth. Kaname was two days past the Estimated Day of Confinement, but she had been about a week late with both Tomoe and Moto. Her vital signs and physical exam were unremarkable.  
  
While talking with Dr. Koemon, Kaname had broken down into involuntary sobbing. With sufficient coaxing, she explained her dilemma in a nonspecific manner. The doctor was sympathetic, and suggested possible options.  
  
She could see a counsellor, if she felt the need.  
  
He could prescribe a tranquilzer that would pose no harm to the baby.  
  
Anti-Depressants were out of the equation, as it would take weeks before they started to be effective. She would be nursing her child at that time...and hopefully, her problem would have long since been corrected.  
  
When she felt able, she drove home. She thought about calling Kyouko, but did not feel like dealing with anyone at that time.  
  
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Kaname felt exhausted---physically, mentally, and emotionally. But, the children were finally in their PJs and in the lengthy process of settling in for the evening events. She would join them as soon as she finished putting away the dishes.  
  
Her thoughts went back to events earlier in the day.  
  
Time at work had gone smooth from a business standpoint. She had handed in too assignments and made good headway on a third---that is, until she received a phone call from Cmdr. Naha at the JSDF base. He was concerned about Sousuke, noting that he had been expected back at the training center that morning.  
  
Kaname gave him a brief rundown of the situation, as Sousuke's boss was one of the few men in the JSDF that knew of Mithril's existence. He had been very sympathetic, offering to send over military personnel to help her out if she was over-extended.  
  
It had felt good to talk with someone who was aware of things she otherwise had to keep secret and hidden. But, after that, her carefully constructed facade crumbled and she was unable to maintain sufficient focus to do any further effective research or writing. She finished off the work day by doing mindless busy work. It had to get done sooner or later, any way.  
  
Dinner had gone well, both in the preparation and the eating. Moto refrained from further lessons in geography. Tomoe decided to practice her most effective facial expressions at a later time.  
  
Kaname stopped in her reminiscence a moment, realizing that she had forgotten what she had cooked and eaten no more than twenty minutes ago.  
  
Her glance falling on the picture of Sousuke, Kyouko, Shinji, and herself that she kept on the ledge above the sink, she sighed sadly . Photographs were proving to be a trouble today.  
  
The most difficult challenge she had been faced with was the simple walk from the front door to the kitchen. Coming in from the car, the children had sped ahead of her, seemingly absent a single care in this world. Walking through the entry hall, she had been accosted one after another by various framed photographs.  
  
Sousuke near a JSDF Arm Slave.  
  
Sousuke, herself, and the children at the zoo.  
  
Sousuke, Kurz, and Melissa.  
  
Sousuke holding her, with her holding one week old Moto.  
  
Two year old Tomoe sitting on her father's knee.  
  
The living room wasn't much better. There were plenty of smaller photographs on tables, shelves, and walls. Every item big and small had a shared history. Sousuke most recent book lay on one end table, untouched.  
  
Kaname made an effort to meet the enemy on the ground of HER choosing. She decided that she would take out her photo album. She had spent so much time mourning Sousuke's absence, she felt like she needed to balance things out the best way she could.  
  
She allowed the children an extra thirty minutes of television while she leafed through her album. She didn't approve of the cartoon violence, but there is only so much a parent can protect her children from.  
  
Normally, this time on a Monday night would have been reserved for a chapter from the 'Art Of War' or a short film on tactics from Sousuke's exhaustive video collection.  
  
When she closed the photo book and looked up, tears half-way down her neck, she was taken aback. Tomoe and Moto were sitting quietly at the end of the bed smiling, looking at Moto's watch.  
  
"I win, Moto. Told you. One minute til Mama saw us."  
  
Kaname stared at her self-satisfied offspring. How had they done that???  
  
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Kaname pulled back her comforter and fluffed her pillows. The little sweethearts were finally tucked in and on the fast train to dreamland. She had told them a very short story based on the Wizard of Oz. The story had a heroine name Melissa... her small dog Kurz..a tin man named Mardukas..a scarecrow named Greta... a brave lion called Gordon... a wizard named Kalinin... a host of flying monkeys... and a wicked witch named Tessa.  
  
"Mama, why are so many bad ladies named Tessa in stories?"  
  
"Yes, Mother. Tessa OR Teletha...."  
  
"Well, you two, I can only guess that bad mothers like those names."  
  
The children had clamored for more stories. For some reason, she thought back to Aesop's fables. She could carry on that tradition for Sousuke. It was her job to hold down the fort as best she could.  
  
Sticking her finger randomly into the book, she selected the tale for that evening. Page 30. "The Donkey's shadow"  
  
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A traveler who had to cross a desert plain hired a donkey to carry him on the journey, and offered the donkey's owner a good sum of money to act as a guide. They set out early in the morning, the traveler riding on the donkey and his guide walking alongside. Soon they had left all greenery behind, and as the sun rose higher and higher into the sky, the heat scorched their skins and parched their throats.  
  
At last the traveler called a halt. Since there was no other shade, he threw himself down to rest on the donkey's shadow.  
  
"What right do you have to that shade?" protested the guide. "Move over--- that is MY place to rest!"  
  
"CHEAT!" yelled the traveler angrily. "Didin't I pay you for the use of your donkey all day long?"  
  
"You paid me for the donkey, that's true." retorted the guide, "but you never paid for his shadow!"  
  
As they argued, neither remembered to keep hold of the donkey's reins. Frightened by the shouting, the donkey took to its heels and ran off across the desert, leaving the two men with no shade to rest in and no beast to ride.  
  
MORAL: WE LOSE WHAT REALLY MATTERS WHEN WE QUARREL OVER SOMETHING WORTHLESS.  
  
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That moral resonated within Kaname, until she felt as if she were about to explode. She recalled her final argument with Sousuke, the morning of his departure. The house had rung with her voice, while Sousuke had remained calm and determined. Kyouko had taken the children in to school, so there was no one there to act as a muffler for Kaname.  
  
Sousuke had given little ground, feeling he had already shared more information than he should. His reward had been a tongue-lashing, with Kaname claiming that the slightest deviation from protocol removed any further need for secrecy. In the end, a pained look in his eyes, Sousuke had left Kaname with a number of clues to work through:  
  
The word 'wormwood'.  
  
A Biblical reference [Revelations 8:9-11].  
  
A web address.  
  
A circle drawn on the family globe with her lipstick, highlighting the Crimean peninsula.  
  
With his next to last words, he told her why he had to go. The new Arm Slaves---the AEG-1 Aegis---were needed. Only four people could currently interface with the new machines: Sousuke, Melissa, and two people Kaname did not know.  
  
Sousuke's final words had been "I love you. Watch after the children for me. I will return as soon as I am able."  
  
When Kaname had turned her back to him, he kissed the back of her head, shouldered his duffel bag, and headed out the door. 


	2. Chapter 2

TUESDAY  
  
The first time that Kaname woke up early that morning, she had been struck by an overwhelming sense of disappointment. She had been 'sleeping with ghosts,' as she called it.  
  
She hadn't realized she was fantasizing.  
  
She had convinced herself that her arms were snuggly around Sousuke, pulling him against her spoon fashion.  
  
A loud noise down on the street had awakened her. Her heart felt half empty, just like her bed.  
  
The second time that Kaname was chased out of her slumber, it had been by panic. She had awakened from a nightmare, heart racing, breath coming in ragged gasps. She told herself it had only been a nightmare. She had seen Sousuke, his outline blurred by an intense light in front of him. His image became smaller and smaller as he walked towards that incandescent glow, hand held by a shadowy figure leading him. Sousuke disappeared into the light, but the other figure turned and spoke to her.  
  
"He's ours now. Find another if you like. It is no concern to us." Somehow, she had known that the shadow's name had been Wormwood.  
  
Wormwood.  
  
That had been the word on the fax.  
  
"WORMWOOD HAZARD."  
  
It had been one of the clues that Sousuke had left her to research. She had also found the name when she read the Biblical reference he had given her.  
  
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REVELATIONS 8:9-11  
  
And a third part of the creatures that were in the sea, and had life, died...  
  
And there fell a great star from heaven, burning as if it were a lamp, and it fell upon a third part of the rivers and upon the fountains of waters.  
  
The name of the star was Wormwood: and, a third part of the rivers became Wormwood, and many men died of the waters because they were made bitter.  
  
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Wormwood.  
  
She thought she had figured out what that meant to Sousuke---to the entire world for that matter. His other clues had provided enough background for Kaname to piece together a very frightening scenario. She was too tired to go over that again. She was too much on edge, aware that the feeling of panic could return at any moment,  
  
She was already exhausted.  
  
She needed desperately to get as much sleep as possible.  
  
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Kaname felt as if she were trying to surf a tidal wave of emotions. Fear. Anxiety. Guilt. Relief. Hate. Compassion. Anger. Sadness. Love. Shame. Disgust. Confusion.  
  
They carried her places where she did not want to go.  
  
The ran up hard against the reality and responsibilities around her, threatening to wash over her children, her job, her entire life. When the rush and the tide receded, two strong forces wrestled for control of her.  
  
Depression.  
  
Panic.  
  
"Sousuke."  
  
Where was Sousuke?  
  
She had dropped Tomoe off at Day Care, planning to return at noon to see the presentation the children were putting together. Only moments after she had left the parking lot, she felt compelled to call the Center, to see if Tomoe was still there, still safe. She held off from making the call.  
  
She had a similar uncontrollable rush of anxiety when she walked Moto directly into his classroom. Palpitations. Sweating. Shortness of breath. Chest pain. It was so bad that she momentarily feared for her health...for her unborn baby's health.  
  
Kaname thought about her OB's offer of tranquilizers. It was tempting. She resisted, not wanting to fall prey to the enticement of the bottle. She would not give into little pills.  
  
She arrived at work at half past 9 o'clock. There was a meeting of freelance writers scheduled for ten o'clock. She remembered at eleven o'clock. She had gone for coffee four times. Only cup ever made it to back her desk.  
  
One was in the ladies room.  
  
One was by the office library.  
  
And one sat on the counter top near the coffee machine.  
  
She had left papers on the Xerox machine. It took her twenty minutes to find her keys. Distracted by a phone call, she forgot why she wanted her keys. With barely a moment to spare, she remembered Tomoe's skit.  
  
Where was her husband?  
  
Was he still alive?  
  
Kaname ran into the Day Care Center just as the senior assistant was announcing the nature of the day's presentation, a small sample of Journey to the west, tailored to the young actors. There was still time to retrieve her camera, which she had left in the car. After sitting down, she realized that she needed film. She made it back to her seat just as the lights dimmed.  
  
Tomoe had the choice role as Sun Wukong, the Monkey King, most popular of Wu Cheng's characters. Her daughter looked so sure of herself.... so composed.... that Kaname remained entranced even as she fumbled to put the film in the camera. Filled with pride and love, she took two rolls worth of pictures, the last roll after she remembered to turn the flash on.  
  
Yes, that part in the skit was perfect for Tomoe---she and Sousuke often referred to as their 'little monkey.' Kaname wanted to focus on her daughter, because this was her day, her event. She felt anxious, and her mind jumped from thought to thought.  
  
She remembered a short educational flier that she had received, describing the facts and story behind the play. The character of the Monkey King, Sun Wukong, was thought to be based on the Hindu god Hanuman, who had been born to a beautiful monkey and the god Vayu. His traits had included unwavering dedication to righteousness; unstinting performance of entrusted duties; and unending loyalty to his leaders.  
  
Those characteristics all described Sousuke.  
  
When Tomoe stole the Peaches of Immortality, Kaname wished that she could share some with her father.  
  
When Monkey swiped Lord Tzu's Pills of Indestructiblity, Kaname wanted to take them to Sousuke herself.  
  
When Buddha defeated Monkey and placed the incorrigable troublemaker into the mountain, Kaname wept.  
  
When Sun Wukong redeemed himself, and earned the exalted title of teacher, Kaname stood and applauded while everyone else remained seated.  
  
If the Monkey King could overcome adversity, couldn't Sousuke?  
  
There was a small reception after the skit, where parents could view their children's art work and other projects. Refreshments were served. Mrs. Mihuro made the serious tactical mistake of asking Tomoe help ferry out the snacks. When Kaname frisked her daughter, she found every possible pocket and clothing space crammed full of cookies, wrapped candy, and pretzels.  
  
Tomoe felt quite vindicated when she mentioned that she would keep half for herself...give the smaller half to Moto...and give another half to Mama.  
  
The director of the play sought out Kaname to tell her just how impressed he was by Tomoe's acting ability at such a young age. He asked Kaname if she would like her daughter to play a lead role in a preschool version of The Arabian Nights. Kaname politely thanked him for his interest, and said that she would get back to him after giving the matter some thought. The conversation started her thinking about some of the research she had done on the internet, following up on Sousuke's clues.  
  
Turkey... Syria... Iraq... Jordan... Israel... Saudi Arabia... Yemen... Oman.. .United Arab Emirates... Qatar... Bahrain... Kuwait... they were amongst the nations that would be the hardest hit if the threat could not be stopped.  
  
Kaname didn't care just how many nations faced ruin. None of them meant anything to her.  
  
Sousuke meant everything.  
  
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The sound of the car door closing could be heard half-way across the large parking deck. If the automobile could feel pain, it would be cringing at Kaname's feet, whimpering for mercy. The engine had sounded a hair's breadth away from stalling as Kaname had pulled into the only available parking space, the one furthest from the elevators.  
  
Kaname cursed to the high heavens, not caring if anyone was listening. She did NOT need this now. The car had given her fits at Day Care, sounding very rough before the engine had settled in and she began settling down.  
  
There was never a convenient time to have car troubles---she could not think of a more anxiety provoking problem that she could add to the week's list. She strode off towards work, sparing the automobile one further scowl.  
  
Walking into the building lobby, Kaname caught the tail end of a conversation between a guard and a janitor:  
  
"Just what the world needs, another war!" the sanitation engineer quipped.  
  
"It's not really a war. It's more like a civil disturbance...or a terrorist action...something like that" the guard insisted.  
  
"Whatever it is, at least it's nowhere near here" the janitor added.  
  
"Amen to that. I have battles enough when I get home at night!"  
  
The guard tried to laugh things off, but Kaname could catch a quick flash of painful reality in his voice. She stopped walking for a moment, held back by a memory. She and Sousuke had fought before he left. She wished more than anything that they hadn't. It might not make any difference in how his mission went, but the way they parted lay heavy on her heart.  
  
"Kaname! There you are. Everyone was looking for you." Aki Sakamura, a receptionist in the office, sounded winded.  
  
"I saw you coming. I wanted to catch you before he left. There was a man in a uniform here to see you. I'll run out front and see if I can catch him before he gets in a taxi." She ran off, wobbling on heels that were too high for sprinting.  
  
What did this mean? It couldn't be good news. Could it be someone from Mithril? If it was, Kaname could think of only one reason that someone would show up to speak with her face to face. She started to shiver, feeling a chill pass through her. Perhaps it was someone from the JSDF base instead. But, why would someone from there come here? The feelings of panic came back in force.  
  
Fight or flight.  
  
She felt like running somewhere.  
  
Anywhere!  
  
When Aki returned, she was leading Cmdr. Tetsuzo Naha of the JSDF.  
  
"Thank you for your kindness Miss," Cmdr. Naha said to Aki as she turned, curtsied, and headed back to the office area. Looking at Kaname, he continued in a strong but subdued voice.  
  
"Is there somewhere we can talk privately for a few moments, Kaname?" He caught her look---and the rigidity of her posture---correctly predicting her concerns. "It's in regards to Sousuke, but I have no word on his condition."  
  
Kaname placed her hand over her chest, then fought back the tears. "Yes, Commander. I'll show you the way."  
  
Kaname led the JSDF soldier to a small conference room, after checking in the logbook to be certain that it was not scheduled for a meeting any time soon. When they were both seated, she spoke again, feeling somewhat more in control.  
  
"It must be something important, for you to come out her to see me...."  
  
"Yes. But it was also something I did not want to speak of over the telephone. I was hoping I would catch you before you saw the news and started looking for answers that might prove very hard to find. Mithril got word to me just before they instituted a communications lockdown."  
  
Kaname remembered the conversation she overheard on the way in. Mithril was likely involved with something big, and no doubt it had to do with the Ukraine. The Crimean Peninsula.  
  
"The Ukraine?" Kaname asked. "Mithril was there, protecting the water supply to a large part of the globe. Does this mean that things have escalated?"  
  
Cmdr. Naha stroked his chin momentarily before answering. "I seems you know certain details I do not. However, I know better than to pursue such information, especially in an a place such as this. Did you see the news?"  
  
"No, I heard two men talking about a new struggle somewhere, but they were no more specific than that. I had won precious few concessions from Sousuke, who plays things much too close to the collar for my liking. I knew he was headed to the Ukraine." Kaname's panic had subsided. She was going to learn something.  
  
"I see. In that case, I will tell you what I myself was told. To the outside world, the Ukraine would have appeared a relatively stable nation. Backed by the United States, the government had adopted a new constitution a number of years back. The ratification of those changes was delayed by various disagreements. Many parties considered it a coup of sorts." He coughed for a moment, clearing his throat.  
  
"Excuse me. The President... the Prime Minister... the legislative authority known as the Verkhovna Rada... and the Council of the Minister... were all at odds behind the scene, a huge rift growing across the ranks of governement personnel in all of the provinces, including the autonomous republic of Crimea.  
  
"Factor into all of that the Crimean Tartars. They had been kicked out by Stalin, sent into exile in central Asia more than sixty years ago. When they returned to Crimea fourty years later, they were ecstatic to be home. However, as demonstrations in the Crimean capitol of Simferopol showed over the past few years, the still have not been given Ukranian citizenship, and they have no vote. They may have be outnumbered ten-to-one by regional Russians and Ukranians, but they remain determined. They found huge sums of money somewhere, and have been buying out more and more government and military officials."  
  
Kaname sat quietly, her hands folded in her lap. She listened intently as the soldier continued with his narrative.  
  
"From what I understand, Crimea is looking to become a separate state, prompted or supported by an outside shadow group. Soldiers loyal to that province and loyal to the Tartars have taken up arms. So we have separists and their terrorist allies or masters... government troops rushing to protect the sovereignty of their nation... and Mithril, out to stop who knows what." Cmdr. Naha stopped to catch his breath, looking at Kaname to see if she had anything she wanted to add, or felt compelled to ask.  
  
"Are you telling me that Sousuke will be in danger from Ukrainian soldiers and Crimean separists in addition to the terrorist forces he had already been fighting?" Kaname's anger at Fate was building rapidly.  
  
"Yes." His reply was short and simple, but one further fact brought a look of concern to his face. It was a subtle crook to the corner of his mouth, but Kaname was experienced enough to catch it.  
  
"What else?"  
  
"Mithril informed me that one of the back-up squads had found the remnants of a large scale A.S. battle. Twenty Soviet-made advanced models of unknown allegiance littered the ground. They formed a ring around three Mithril Aegis Arm Slaves, one of which was destroyed by enemy fire, and two that showed signs of self-destruct detonations." He paused, but the truth was already in his eyes.  
  
"Sousuke's Arm Slave?" Kaname found herself holding her breath  
  
"One of those that self destructed. No bodies were located. I'm sorry. I know nothing more than that." After offering words of encouragement, Cmdr. Naha repeated his pledge of assistance should Kaname need it. A driver. A baby sitter. A military ride to the hospital. Whatever.  
  
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Sitting at her desk, Kaname was busy deleting files she didn't need, intent on clearing up room on her hard drive. She paused, seeing the name "Wormwood" on one folder. It was not sensitive data. It wasn't even pertinent to her eventual discoveries, unless the name of the star in the book of Revelations came from Artemisia Absinthium, the Wormwood shrub.  
  
She looked at her notes:  
  
Artemesia was the wife and sister of the Greek King Mausolous, from whose name the word mausoleum derived. The genus Artemesia was named after her, and comprises over 400 plants. Artemesia had been---for all extensive purposes---a botanist and a medical researcher. Many of the plant varieties named after her had insecticidal properties, with Wormwood being the most potent.  
  
"I don't think Sousuke is gardening in the Ukraine."  
  
In a less toxic form, Roman Wormwood is used to flavor Vermouth and Campari.  
  
"That big idiot better not be at some Crimean pub, drinking it up with his buddies."  
  
Wormwood had been used for centuries as a moth repellent and as a spray to repel slugs and snails. Before its toxicity was understood, it had been used as a worming medicine for men and animals.  
  
Kaname smiled for a brief moment. 'Men' and 'animals.' Obviously, women were too smart to drink the stuff! She test that theory when somebody finally got home.  
  
It was rumored that Vincent Van Gogh was imbibing of absinthe---an alcoholic beverage flavored with wormwood that is illegal in most countries- --when he lopped off his ear to send it to a woman.  
  
"I didn't need to read that...." Kaname had seen enough pictures of war and battle. The thought of missing body parts was more than she could take at the moment.  
  
Kaname filed all that extraneous that knowledge in the "useless information...test Sousuke on it later" part of her brain. It did serve to emphasize an important lesson to her. It didn't pay to rush to conclusions, or to put all of her hopes or fears into any single fact or lead.  
  
The world was NOT in danger of catastrophic deworming. The slugs and snails of the Southern Hemisphere could sleep easy at night.  
  
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She had cleaned up her computer.  
  
She had called and made an appointment to have her car looked at.  
  
She had ordered a series of articles and references on her next assignment topic.  
  
Kaname felt like she was turning the corner on her panic attacks. Of course, depressiom was waiting for her around that very same corner. It figured! Solve one problem and another takes its place. Conquer one emotion, and prepare for the next.  
  
Kaname realized again just how much Sousuke meant to her. Faced with countless problems in the past, none of them had felt unsurmountable when she knew that Sousuke would be waiting for her when she got home.  
  
Large AS battle.  
  
Aegis Arm Slaves with signs of self-destruct detonations.  
  
No bodies located.  
  
Ukranian soldiers, separists, and terrorists everywhere.  
  
No sign of Sousuke.  
  
She shook herself, like an animal trying to shake off dirt or dust. She wanted to shake off her malaise, shake off the feeling of helplessness and hopelessness. She had faced dangers in Khanka. She had been close to death on the TDD-1. She had been held prisoner by a crazed man and the megalomaniacs he served. She had survived the years that she had thought Sousuke lost at sea.  
  
She could face this.  
  
There was nothing Kaname could do about the physiologic component of her depression. She could, however, work on her conscious choices and reactions. It would certainly be possible to teach herself better ways to think and to act.  
  
Something like that usually takes time---but, she did not have the luxury of time. Her baby was not going to wait much longer. Her children were not going to hibernate until her emotional winter was over. Thinking about shaking things off, she grinned for a brief moment, remembering another parable Sousuke had told the children.  
  
That man was becoming a wealth of insight. He prepared for every day of fatherhood with the same degree of thoroughness that he used in preparation for military missions.  
  
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A mule had fallen into the farmer's well. It was an old mule, the least of the farmers animals. The farmer had heard the mule braying in distress and had come running.  
  
After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer sympathized with the mule, but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth the trouble of saving.  
  
Instead, the farmer called his neighbors together and told them what had happened. He enlisted their help in hauling dirt to bury the old mule in the well and put him out of his misery. Initially, the mule was hysterical.  
  
But, as the farmer and his neighbors continued shoveling and dirt hit his back, a thought occured to him. It suddenly dawned on him that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back he could shake it off and step up on it.  
  
This he did, blow after blow. "Shake it off and step on up... shake it off and step on up... shake it off and step on up..." he repeated to encourage himself. No matter how painful the blows, or how distressing the situation seemed, the old mule fought his panic and just kept shaking things off and stepping on up.  
  
It wasn't long before the old mule---battered and exhausted as he was--- stepped triumphantly out of the well. What had seemed like it was going to bury him had actually blessed him, all because of the manner in which he had handled his adversity.  
  
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"That's life," Kaname said to herself.  
  
If we face our problems and respond to them positively---and refuse to give in to panic, bitterness, or self-pity---who knows what we might be able to accomplish?  
  
"But, when it rains it pours."  
  
Had that mule been faced with the downpour Kaname continued to face, it would have drowned before getting out of that well.  
  
"At least I know how to swim."  
  
Kaname would have ample opportunity to challenge her new resolve. Mrs. Nakamura at the Day Care Center called. She was an instructor who doubled as the facility nurse. Tomoe was injured. She had surprised everyone by scampering up a tall tree like a squirrel before anyone could stop her. Coming down, she had fallen a considerable distance, landing awkwardly. Her foot was very swollen and she was in considerable pain.  
  
When she hung up the phone, Kaname felt numb.  
  
The effects of her silent pep talk had disappeared soon after she had heard the word 'fall.' She felt as if she was held down by heavy weights, unable to move, unable to leave her chair.  
  
Why?  
  
Why now?  
  
Why her daughter?  
  
Hadn't Kaname suffered enough already?  
  
Fortunately, Kaname was able to reach Kyouko at school. Kyouko would take Moto home with her, feed him, and turn him loose with her own small brood. She'd keep him overnight if Kaname liked, bringing him to school with her in the morning. If Kaname wanted, Kyouko would bring her and Tomoe something to eat when she came by to pick up Moto's clothes for tomorrow.  
  
Kaname thanked Kyouko, feeling blessed to have such a dependable and steadfast friend. Her spirits hadn't lifted entirely, but she had one less worry to deal with at the moment.  
  
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It had broken Kaname's heart to see Tomoe in such pain. Her heel area was swollen and discolored. She could not put any weight on her foot and cried whenever anyone touched it. The car inconsiderate, threatening to quit once again. In spite of that, she and her daughter made it to the hospital Emergency Room with no difficulty.  
  
The wait was not overly long. Only an hour and a half. The doctor who saw her---a gray-haired gentleman in his mid 50s---was very friendly and very frank. He suspected a fracture of the heel bone rather than a simple ankle sprain or soft tissue injury. They would need to do a series of X-rays. Pending the findings on the radiographs, they might need to do a CT scan or MRI. Surgery was a possibility, but would not be performed today unless the injury was of a severity rarely seen in young children.  
  
Kaname had been allowed to accompany Tomoe into X-ray, an opportunity she greatly appreciated. She was feeling very isolated now, her fears of abandonment peaking again. It would have been very difficult at the moment if she had to watch Tomoe pushed away from her in a wheelchair.  
  
Sousuke.  
  
Where was Sousuke?  
  
After the procedure, she and Tomoe sat by themselves in a small examination room. Tomoe wanted a story. When asked what she wanted to hear about, she answered "Daddy."  
  
Kaname complied, telling her daughter things about her father that they hadn't spoken about before. His life in Afghanistan, sanitized to fit a child's perspective. His time with her at Jindai highschool, and how they had gotten off to a rocky start. His rescues of her, told along the lines of a hero rescuing a maiden in distress. His eventual courtship of her. Their marriage, and the arrival of the children into their lives.  
  
Tomoe remained very quiet, picking up on her mother's mood.  
  
She did not ask her usual myriad of questions.  
  
When the doctor returned with the results of the X-rays, there was good news and bad news. The good news was that Tomoe would not require surgery, and would not require additional imaging tests. For tonight, all she would require was ice packs, compression dressings, and strict bed rest.  
  
The bad news was that she had a compression fracture of the calcaneus, an injury not uncommon after a fall on the foot from a great height. Fortunately, it did not involve an articular surface, and a similar injury was not seen in the opposite foot. Once the swelling went down, she would need to see an orthopedist for a non-weight bearing short leg cast, which would need to stay on for at least one week.  
  
She would need crutches.  
  
In two weeks she would be fitted with a temporary surgical shoe.  
  
Kaname tried to look on the bright side. Things could have been much worse.  
  
Where was her husband? Was he injured too?  
  
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Carrying Tomoe through the door into the apartment, Kaname was glad to be home. She still suffered from the physical signs of distress---headache, tightness in her throat, and an uneasy stomach.  
  
But, that should start to improve.  
  
She hoped.  
  
Tomoe was very upset, but not at her injury---it was as if she had forgotten about that altogether. She was infuriated that her brother wasn't there to hear about her adventure first hand. He didn't have a swollen foot. He didn't get to go to the hospital. He didn't get to have pictures taken of his bones. He didn't get a lollipop from the nurse. He didn't get a drive-through ice cream cone. Raspberry sherbet. His favorite!!!  
  
Moto would have been jealous. He would have probably climbed a tree himself.  
  
Tomoe became even more upset when she learned that she couldn't do her usual Tuesday night routine. There would be no kendo training. It wasn't fair. She KNEW she could do it standing on one foot!  
  
Her mother was just being mean.  
  
DADDY would have let her do it!  
  
Normally, Kaname would not put up with even a minute of tantrum. But, she was feeling listless and drained. She didn't seem to have the energy or motivation to curb her daughter's verbal crescendo. A look at the counter top saved her, providing her with a solution.  
  
The cocoa tin.  
  
The plastic barrel with the finger paints.  
  
Hearing that she could have hot cocoa AND whipped cream, Tomoe did an about face. Learning that her mother would finger paint with her, she decided that she had the best Mama in the whole world.  
  
The cocoa went well. There were no spills, slops, or drops. No cups were broken. Tomoe's bed clothes remained clean.  
  
After placing her apron on her daughter, Kaname placed some newspaper on the kitchen table... grabbed some sketching paper... and unscrewed the tops on the paint bottles. Tomoe went right to work, cranking out masterpiece after masterpiece, coloring the apron and the newspaper in the process.  
  
A picture of Tomoe in a tree.  
  
A picture of Tomoe falling from a tree.  
  
A picture of her father catching her at the foot of the tree.  
  
A picture of a hospital.  
  
A picture of her father teaching her kendo.  
  
A picture of a kitten.  
  
A picture of a kitten in a tree.  
  
A picture of a kitten in a hospital.  
  
A picture of her father reading her and her brother a story.  
  
A picture of her father teaching a kitten kendo.  
  
A picture of the entire family, sans kitten.  
  
Her paint-covered face and hands imitating a rainbow, Tomoe did not look like the usual art critic. That did not stop her from savagely critiquing her mother's work:  
  
"Mother, that looks like a white-footed ferret, not a cat....  
  
"Mother, Daddy does NOT smile when he is hit with a halisen...  
  
"Mother, those are not the colors in a rainbow...  
  
"Mother, the moon is a quarter crescent tonight...  
  
"Mother, Daddy is taller than you...  
  
"Mother, why does Moto get to hold Daddy's hand. It's my turn on Tuesday...  
  
"Mother, the HBD-5 does NOT have a pointed head....  
  
Being a thoughtful child, Tomoe did not want to leave her mother bereft of any kind words.  
  
"I REALLY like that one, Mama." She pointed to one picture that had resulted from Kaname knocking over one bottle of paint, smearing her hand across the page before she had realized what she had done.  
  
When her mother did not say anything in reply, Tomoe knew exactly what to do. "Mama, when someone gives compliments, you are supposed to say 'Thank you.' " Her look was very intense, not playful.  
  
"Thank you, sweetheart."  
  
"You're welcome."  
  
Kaname hugged her daughter.  
  
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After Kyouko had left---Tomoe manually detached from her lap---Kaname was able to tuck her daughter into bed. Since she and Tomoe had eaten at the hospital, Kaname placed Kyouko's care package in the refrigerator. One less meal to cook tomorrow! Kaname felt sad not being able to see Moto before he went to bed. But, it provided her the opportunity to spend some time alone with her injured daughter.  
  
Tomoe's eyes were droopy, so she was given the choice of a story---an Aesop's fable, or a few moments with the riddle book. Tomoe chose the fable. She wanted to be the one to randomly pick the story this time. Instead of sticking her finger in the book the way her mother had the night before, she resorted to her own method.  
  
She threw the book up against the ceiling, waiting to see what page it opened to. Page 60. 'The Astrologer.'  
  
"Mama...could you read the story with more feeling tonight...the way that Daddy does?"  
  
Kaname almost dropped the book. Even after their years of marriage, Kaname would not consider Sousuke to be the most expressive person she knew. She must sound pretty flat these days.  
  
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A man learned to observe the movements of the stars in order to predict the future. He soon became famous as an astrologer, and people traveled for miles around to pay for his advice.  
  
One evening, this man was walking along the road, his eyes fixed on the heavens and what great fortune he saw there. But meanwhile, he paid no heed to the path, and before he knew it he had tumbled head over heels into a pit of muddy water.  
  
His neighbors heard his shouts and came running. But when they saw who had fallen into the hole, they had no pity. "he can predict the future, but he couldn't foresee this!" one of them cried.  
  
And another, helping the man up, told him "You'd better spend less time watching the stars, and more time watching your feet!"  
  
THE MORAL: DON'T NEGLECT SMALL THINGS WHEN THINKING OF GREAT ONES  
  
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After she had explained that message to her daughter, Kaname told her two more fables. When she finished the moral to the third fable, she noted that Tomoe was fast asleep. She looked so angelic. So peaceful.  
  
Once again, Kaname could find a way to apply the one moral.  
  
She HAD been neglecting the little things.  
  
No, not the children; rather, the sundry details. The garbage needed to be taken out. The dishes needed to be put away. The video collection needed to go from the floor to the shelf. The plants were drooping. Cobwebs were growing. Dust bunnies were multiplying.  
  
Those were all things that Sousuke usually took care of, lending her a hand during her pregnancy.  
  
She could take care of some of those things tonight, but she was yawning enough to know better than to push things. Still, the idea was attractive--- she dreaded going to sleep in that big and empty bed. 


	3. Chapter 3

WEDNESDAY  
  
Kaname had awakened angry.  
  
Very angry.  
  
She was angry at the world.  
  
Why did there need to be terrorists? Why were terrorists and power seekers threatening the lives of so many people? Why were the Ukrainians so inconsiderate to the Tartars? Why were so many people fighting? Couldn't they just be content with what they had? Why didn't they just step away from the conflict and enjoy the love of their families?  
  
She was angry at Mithril.  
  
Hadn't she and Sousuke done enough for them over the years? Did they have to reach out and grab Sousuke every time some large crisis raised its ugly head? Hadn't the world survived countless crises WITHOUT Sousuke? Why couldn't they have done a better job of planning? Three Aegis Arm Slaves were destroyed!  
  
She truly began to hate the organization. They had taken Sousuke from her. He might never return. They were responsible for her loss.  
  
Kaname was angry at Sousuke.  
  
He had chosen the world over her. He had left sounding so confident that he would be home in good time. He was not here when she needed him the most--- a baby on the way...Tomoe injured...a car on its last legs...EVERYTHING.  
  
He had caused her so much pain and anguish.  
  
Struggling to make sense of things, she realized something. She was especially angry with herself.  
  
Kaname thought about the second and third fables that she had read to Tomoe the night before: "The Pig and the Sheep" and "The Oxen and the Wagon Wheels."  
  
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When a shepherd came to count his sheep one morning, he was thunderstruck to find a pig huddled among the flock. "However he came to be here, that pig will fetch a fat price at the butcher's!" the shepherd thought. He snatched up the pig and tucked him under his arm.  
  
At once the pig began to squeal and kick, thrashing his short legs. "What a fuss you're making!" scolded one elderly sheep. "The shepherd often carries one of us away, but you'd never hear a sheep whimper like that. Show a little courage!"  
  
"Easy for you to say!" gasped the frightened pig. "When the shepherd carries you away, he only wants your wool. But, he wants MY bacon, and that will be the end of me!"  
  
MORAL: IT'S EASY TO TALK OF COURAGE WHEN YOU'RE SAFE AND SOUND  
  
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"One rainy day, a pair of oxen pulled a cart down a country lane. The dirt of the road had turned to muck and mire, and the oxen trudged along through mud up to their knees, straining against the weight of the cart with every step. Still, they never uttered one word of complaint.  
  
The wheels of the cart, on the other hand, groaned with every turn and creaked at every joint. At last the oxen could endure it no longer.  
  
"Keep quiet!" they cried. "You have only to turn; what is that to grumble over? We have to pull all of the weight of the cart, and you don't hear us complaining!"  
  
MORAL: THOSE WHO COMPLAIN MOST OFTEN SUFFER LEAST  
  
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Kaname and Sousuke had fought just before he left.  
  
It was a one-sided fight.  
  
She had yelled, cried, cajoled, glowered, and made attempts to use logic that served her purpose. Sousuke had calmly stated his position, as well as the position of Mithril and that of the people they hoped to save. His quiet demeanor, unfaltering logic, and absence of outward emotion only served to infuriate Kaname all the more. Her memory of the fight was sketchy. There were probably things that she had said that she made a point to forget. Her conscience may or may not have editorialized, adding things that didn't happen:  
  
"Souske...I can't believe you are so insensitive, so bull-headed...how can you leave at a time like this?"  
  
"Kaname...this is not the first time we have had this type of argument. This is not the first time I have had to leave you. You know I cannot give you the full details. You have to trust me when I say this is something bigger than us."  
  
"Bigger than us? Bigger than me and the children! Bigger than your unborn baby! NOTHING is bigger than those."  
  
"Kaname...."  
  
"Don't you DARE 'Kaname' me! There is NOTHING more important than your family. You promised that you would never abandon me. There are many people who Mithril can get to do what you think you need to do. I only have one husband. The children only have one father."  
  
"Kaname, this is not something new. I was a soldier when we met. I was a soldier when we got married. I was a soldier when Moto and Tomoe were born...."  
  
"No, Sousuke, it's NOT the same. You didn't leave from our honeymoon. You didn't leave when Moto and Tomoe were born. It's bad enough that you still go on missions now that you are a father. Have you ever thought about what happens to ME if you don't come back? Have you thought about what happens to the children? At least they have known their father. This baby hasn't had that chance yet!"  
  
"I understand that there is nothing I can say that will change the way that you are feeling now. All I can say is that if I do not go, it may be millions of fathers, mothers, and children who suffer. I know you will understand what I am trying to say some day."  
  
"No, I don't think that I will. I know that I don't WANT to! Why you, Sousuke. Why YOU?!"  
  
"Kaname...."  
  
"WHY THE HELL DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE YOU???"  
  
"It is not always me. I am certain that you can remember that I told you I have voluntarily reduced my availability drastically. I am only called in when there is the greatest need."  
  
"The greatest need? WHOSE greatest need. Do you even trust those bastards? They will use you up, throw you away, and find someone new. Let them find someone new NOW, before they get you killed!!!"  
  
"Kaname...."  
  
"NO, Sousuke. Sooner or later you WILL die! How many comrades have you had over the years since we met? How many of them are still alive, if they didn't walk away by their own choice? Kurz...Melissa...who else?"  
  
"Many of the fallen were heroes, Kaname. Their actions helped avert disasters of enormous proportion. If it were not for their bravery and their sacrifices...."  
  
"CAN'T YOU GET IT THROUGH THAT THICK MORONIC MILITARY MIND THAT I DO NOT WANT A HERO!!! I want you, Sousuke. I love you. The children need you. The whole DAMN world doesn't even know you exist."  
  
"It feel no need to prove myself to anyone, Kaname. I have no thirst for glory. I do what I feel must be done. Can you honestly say you could love a man who would back down from his responsibility? Do the children deserve a father who lets scores of people suffer needlessly so that he is not inconvenienced?"  
  
"Yes, Sousuke. YES! I want you alive. I want you with me. I know what type of man you are. You aren't going to change that by staying home with me now. PLEASE, Sousuke. I am begging you...don't go away now. We don't need the money. We don't need Mithril's protection. There is nothing more they have to offer you but a casket and a folded flag!"  
  
"I love you, Kaname. And I respect your feelings. There are only four people in the world qualified to do what I must do. Four is not nearly enough. Sending only three might mean the difference between thousands dead and millions dead. You tutored me with math. You know that I can appreciate the difference between three, four, one thousand, and one million. No matter what you think, I truly have no choice. And I have no more time to spare arguing. I must make the flight out."  
  
"Sousuke...If I didn't love you so much, I could HATE you...."  
  
That last statement had echoed within her head for days after Sousuke had left. If those were the last words he ever heard from her, how could she live with herself? She could imagine him far away, slowly bleeding to death, her words a nail in his heart. There had been no way to reach him after he had left. There had been no way to take those words back.  
  
She wanted so very much just to tell him again how much she loved him.  
  
The guilt threatened to overwhelm her now.  
  
IT'S EASY TO TALK OF COURAGE WHEN YOU'RE SAFE AND SOUND  
  
She had felt so righteous in her arguments. She had felt justified in her anger. It was true, she stood at risk to lose something precious to her. But, so did Sousuke. The difference was that he would be in harm's way.  
  
THOSE WHO COMPLAIN MOST OFTEN SUFFER LEAST  
  
She felt ashamed. Not for her preferences and her desires. She had every right to feel the way that she did. She felt ashamed for implying that Sousuke did not care as much as she did. He was willing to do what he thought was right despite his personal feelings. While she was sitting safe and warm at home, he could be suffering in some cold unfamiliar forest. He could be chained in some dark and dank cell, awaiting interrogation or execution.  
  
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Kaname's guilt drove her to dwell on the dangers that Sousuke must be facing. She had no idea whatsoever about the terrorist group and its capabilities. There was no way to find out anything about that.  
  
On the other hand, she COULD find out something about the Ukrainian armed forces. While no battle hardened valkyrie or a military otaku, she was a soldier's wife. Sousuke had shelves full of military reports and analyses, and she knew just where to look to gather the information she wanted  
  
She came across a description of the Navy of Ukraine.  
  
The goal of that navy was to defend sovereignty and state interests in the sea, neutralizing any groups of enemy within its operational zone. Their operational zone includes the waters of the Black Sea, Sea of Azov, the Danube and Dneiper Rivers, and other regions determined by state interests.  
  
Main tasks pertinent to Sousuke's location included assistance of the Army in its operations; neutralization of any amphibious forces; and establishment of the peace.  
  
The navy consisted of 5 branches: surface forces, submarines, Naval aviation, coast rocket-artillery, and marines. Various aircraft and helicopters were at their disposal.  
  
A little more digging revealed information about the Air Force of Ukraine.  
  
Ukrainian pilots are famous for high airmanship and heroism. They are experienced, many of them having honed their skills in Afghanistan. Sousuke would appreciate that. They represent the high mobilty force of the nation, working in the roles of Air defense; country airs space security; objects assault and battery. Sousuke would NOT appreciate that. They also played roles in troop support; landing operations support; and reconnaissance.  
  
Main tasks include achievement of air superiority; covering of national forces against enemy air strike; breakdown of enemy maneuver; destruction of enemy military communications and infrastructure; and attack on enemy troops that have landed on Ukrainian soil.  
  
Oh, Sousuke!  
  
Bombers include Tu-22m3 and Su-24m aircraft. Assault aviation consists of Su-25 aircraft. Fighter aviation consists of Su-27 and Mig-29 fighters. Reconnaissance consists of Su-24mr and Su-17m4r aircraft. Transport aircraft include Il-76 and An-24.  
  
Kaname knew enough to be worried about the combined firepower available to a national air force of this caliber flying from regional bases. She was also highly concerned about available ground forces. that's what would prove the greatest threat to her husband if he were on foot. Shuffling through more pages, she came across the details she was interested in.  
  
Facts about the Army of the Armed Forces of Ukraine.  
  
The main mechanized and armoured force has the task of holding occupied areas, lines and positions; repelling enemy forces; penetrating enemy defense lines; and defeating enemy forces. Mechanized forces and armor units have at their disposal T-85II, T-84, T-72, and T-64 tanks. Armored personnel carriers include BTR-80, BTR-70, and BTR-60 vehicles. BMP-1 and BMP-2 are plentiful.  
  
Rocket forces and artillery groups control operational and tactical missiles, formations of howitzers, anti-tank weaponry, and mortar units. Weapons include "Smerch," "Uragan," and "Grad" multi-launch rocket systems, "Giacint," "Pion," and "Gvodzdika howitzers, and "Shturm," "Konkurs," and "Rapira" anti-armor missiles.  
  
Army aviations operates a large number of Mi-8 helicopters, and modern variants of the Mi-24.  
  
Kaname skipped over sections dealing with Army air defense. It might be significant to any Mithril or allied aircraft in the region, but it had little bearing on Sousuke.  
  
The Mobile Fighting Suits units have a wide variety of Arm Slaves, including RK-92, RK-98, and RKX-2 models. Sousuke had penciled in some other notes, but Kaname could not read his handwriting other than "excellent training!" and "dedicated corps."  
  
Those words did not give her confidence.  
  
The situation looked grim. This was no small guerilla group, private mercenary army, or third world nation. Sousuke had been in potentially worse situations...but make no mistake about it, the Ukrainian military alone would serve as a daunting opponent.  
  
Just who are the "good guys" and who are the "bad guys" within the opposing groups in the coup? Would any of them view the actions of the Mithril soldiers as a selfless act rather than an invasion of sovereign soil? Would there be any identifiable forces that Sousuke could seek safe refuge with?  
  
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When Tomoe finally woke up, she was unhappy that she would not be able to go to Day Care and see her friends. She also felt that she had failed at her attempt to climb the tree AND get back down again safely---she was eager to get things right the next time. She did not understand why her mother seemed so dead set against her learning how to climb.  
  
Once she realized that she had the couch to herself...the most colorful and warm comforter...a whole pile of knitted pillows...and the TV remote control...Tomoe was content to stay home. She was even allowed to enjoy breakfast in the living room---a rare treat. Her mother confused her again.  
  
Why did Mama's face turn that color when Tomoe talked about how much fun it was to break a bone?  
  
This was not all fun and games to Tomoe, however. She had a job to do. Daddy worked hard to watch his tapes and find things to teach her and her brother. It was her duty to watch as many cartoons as possible, so she could tell her father everything that happened in his absence! Her mother did not understand that. She thought her daughter was simply having fun.  
  
The only fly in the ointment was that she had to stay put on the couch. She would have liked to practice sneaking up on her mother, watching all of the things that she would be doing throughout the day. At least she had something to look forward to later in the afternoon.  
  
She would be getting a cast!  
  
She'd never had one of those before....  
  
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Kaname sat on the floor of the baby's room. Everywhere she looked, she saw something that had needed to be done, but wasn't completed yet. Everything that wasn't finished was something she had either expected Sousuke to be able to do, or had expected to be able to do together with him.  
  
The new crib was still in its box, sitting against the wall near a pyramid of bumper pads, mattress protectors, sheets, and blankets.  
  
A large paper bag held the border she had wanted to put up around the room, along with the materials necessary to carry out that project.  
  
The new dresser was properly situated, but empty.  
  
There was so much shopping she still needed to do. Diapers. Socks. Booties. Caps. Baby T-shirts and shorts. Jumpsuits and sweat suits. Wash cloths. Changing pads. Rubber pants. Bibs. Bath oils. Shampoo and body lotions. Baby powder. Pop-up moisturized towlettes.  
  
She also needed a new backpack, a diaper pail, and a suitable car carrier.  
  
Kamame sighed, overwhelmed by the enormity of the task ahead of her. She wasn't emotionally ready for the arrival of this baby. She was physically exhausted, and still had labor to look forward to. There were items she needed for herself, and she didn't know just when she could find the time to get them.  
  
She hated being an imposition on Kyouko, and would be embarrassed calling Sousuke's base saying "Could you please send over someone to watch my children? I need to go out and grab some microwaveable meals, vitamins, fruit juices, extra-absorbant maxi-pads, breast pads, and a breast pump."  
  
She could just imagine someone writing THAT down in the log book!  
  
Nonetheless, she would call the base and see if Cmdr. Naha could do her a couple of favors. He HAD offered. If someone could bring Sousuke's car back, that would be a great help. If someone could take her car to the shop, that would be equally wonderful. And if any of Sousuke's trainees and their wives were willing to baby sit and watch the apartment while Kaname was in the hospital, she would consider herself blessed.  
  
"There is so much to do, baby!" She spoke to her unborn child, rubbing her belly.  
  
"I REALLY appreciate you taking your time like this." She rubbed her hand through her hair, stopping for a momement when she decided that she wanted to call the life inside her something other than "baby."  
  
She and Sousuke had not gotten around to discussing names before he had been called away. That fact saddened her, but she put her chin up and said "Hmmppfff. I can do that myself! If he's not here, then it's just to bad for him. I should name the baby Kurz."  
  
THAT would teach him. "No, Mardukas. Or...what's the masculine form for Tessa?" As soon as she said that last part, she felt a rumbling in her stomach. "Sorry, baby. Mama was just joking!"  
  
Getting serious, Kaname remembered the book of baby names that she still had stashed away in a cluttered storage chest. She and Sousuke had never chosen any names from that book, but Sousuke had written down a list of that names he favored. Moto's and Tomoe's names had come from that list. She might as well carry on the tradition.  
  
Retrieving the book, she read each name aloud a number of times, hand on her abdomen. The baby would choose the name. Whichever name she spoke when the baby moved next...that would be the one.  
  
Shusaku Chiba Sagara  
  
Takuan Soho Sagara  
  
Muso Gonuosuke Sagara  
  
No movement. "Don't you like any of those names, sweetheart?" No movement. Feeling a bit mischievous, Kaname said "Kurz." She felt a short series of movements. "That doesn't count!"  
  
She started over again.  
  
Shusaku Chiba  
  
Takuan Soho  
  
Muso Gonuosuke  
  
Still no movement. This baby was being rather uncooperative. "OK, little soldier. I expect you to make a choice this time around."  
  
Shusaku....  
  
Ah! Movement. Shusaku Chiba Sagara it was. Not even born yet, and such an obedient tyke.  
  
"Maybe I shouldn't have gone to all that trouble" Kaname said, relieved to have one more thing out of the way. "Maybe I should have just chosen some name I heard lately. Something like Achilles, Sun Wukong, or Calcaneus. Anything, except Wormwood!"  
  
She had only been joking, and should be happy to see that her sense of humor was returning. That last word caught in her throat.  
  
It was not one she could afford to take lightly.  
  
Not yet.  
  
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The word "Wormwood" had gotten Kaname thinking again. Thinking and worrying. She remembered the Bibical passage. She took some time to think through her other findings again.  
  
The web address that Sousuke had provided her with was very informative. It spoke about the hydraulics of various large bodies of water, and listed the inflow and outflow of all seas and large scale lakes. It also touched on the subject of underground water, great drains, and distillery units.  
  
Vast subterranean fresh water rivers had been discovered, forming an extensive network. There were those in Florida and the surrounding areas. There were those in the Caribbean, the Middle East, even beneath the Arabian desert. Some such rivers flow underneath the ocean depths, flowing out via "blue holes," vents near islands, or openings thousands of miles away from their distillation sites.  
  
Environmental nightmares could result if such fresh water sources were poisoned by industry and the improper care of the environment. But, it would be one thing to have limited and superficial sources of pollution near such source waters. It would be an altogether different story if someone chose to act out of spite, maliciousness, or some evil plot.  
  
If one examined an atlas of the Middle East, they would see a large number of surrounding bodies of water. Going clockwise, they would notice the Persian Gulf, the Gulf of Oman, the Arabian Sea, the Gulf of Aden, the Red Sea, the Mediterranean Sea, the Aegean Sea, the Dardanelles, the Sea of Marmara, the Bosporus, the Sea of Azov, the Caspian Sea, the Aral Sea....... and the Black Sea.  
  
Great pressure at the depths of oceans and seas forces feeds water into the fresh water system---an automatic pumping system. At sites referred to as distillery units, salt water is transformed into fresh water.  
  
Kaname narrowed down her results, thinking particularly about the Black Sea.  
  
The prime rivers flowing into the Black Sea included the Bosporus, the Danube, the Dniester, the "Southern" Bug, the Don, the Dnieper, the Kuban, the Rioni, and the Sakarya. That was a considerable amount of water flowing down from South Eastern Europe, Western Asia, and the Mediterranean. It had to go somewhere. It did not simply evaporate. There must be sufficient drain holes to compensate.  
  
The largest mapped drain holes that were closest to land were seen in the vicinity of Sinop and Inebolu in Turkey, and Yalta on the Crimean peninsula. Those drain holes have water entering at a few knots/hr, strong enough to suck in divers, small submersibles, and untethered deep sea vehicles.  
  
Given the hydraulics of the Black Sea, the waters that enter the great drains flow via subterranean waterways to distant sites in Turkey, Syria, Iraq, Jordan, Israel, Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Oman, United Arab Emirates, Qatar, Bahrain, and Kuwait.  
  
Kaname had also come across additional references that she had followed through on. Some were quite concerning.  
  
There were a significant number of experts who placed the blame for the Gulf War Syndrome on the Chernobyl incident. Soluble alkalis and Cesium 137 made their way into waterways leading into the Black Sea. Such poisons were not removed by the distillation units.  
  
It hadn't taken any large stretch of the imagination to conjure up a frightening scenario. Someone understood all too well about the hydraulics of the Black Sea and the existence of subterranean water systems. They may well have taken their inspiration from the accidental low level poisoning of the fresh water sources of the Middle east.  
  
The Bible referred to Wormwood as a luminous star. Perhaps the person coining the term "Wormwood Hazard" was making reference to a man made terror such as a nuclear explosion. Dumping large amounts of concentrated nuclear waste materials might also have a devastating effect.  
  
The motives were harder to nail down, but might very well have to do with some single nation or conglomerate of nations wanting to savage the countries controlling the vast petroleum reservoirs.  
  
Her guilt prompted her to remember her words and re-examine her motives and priorities. Was it right for her to be selfish, wanting to keep Sousuke out of harm's way? How should she feel about his choosing the mission over her? With so much at stake for the world as a whole, should she support Sousuke's decision to walk into the lion's den?  
  
Should she be proud of his courage and selfless dedication?  
  
The answers were not simple. Her heart and her head were not in total agreement. She was beginning to slip back into depression again and needed to get up, get ready, and get going.  
  
There were too many things that needed to get done.  
  
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Kaname hung up the phone, feeling satisfied and grateful. She had spoken briefly with Cmdr. Naha, who had given her his permission to send over a catered lunch for the office staff, support group, and Arm Slave trainees. She was feeling very generous, thanks to the overwhelming show of kindness she had received from base personnel.  
  
A large number of staff members had volunteered to help with her and Sousuke's cars, and Sgt. Sai Takaoka---one of Sousuke's most talented trainees---had called to say that he and his wife Ishizu would be glad to keep an eye on Moto and Tomoe.  
  
Things were looking up.  
  
After an early lunch, Kaname bundled Tomoe up warmly and drove her to the Kokusaikuko Clinic for her appointment the orthopedist. Her good fortune continued. She was able to see the doctor promptly, and he had no concerns beyond those previously mentioned by the ER doctor at the hospital.  
  
The wait for having the actual cast put on would be about an hour. That was bad.  
  
One of the receptionists was only too glad to look after Tomoe for a while. That was good.  
  
Tomoe was busy examining a model skeleton, learning the names of all of the bones. She wouldn't mind if her mother ran out to do some quick shopping down the block, as long as she could have the juice and cookies that she had been offered.  
  
It was a deal.  
  
Having a prescription for a certain size of crutches, Kaname stopped in at a nearby Medical Supplies store. The crutches were in stock. Shelves in the store also held a fortuitous bounty. Many of the items she had needed to pick up for herself or the baby where available there.  
  
The remaining items on her mental list were readily obtainable in the Pharmacy and the department store further down the street. It took a couple of trips to the car, but she finished in good time.  
  
When she arrived back at the clinic, Tomoe was leading the receptionists in a little ditty that she had composed about the bones in the body. She was still singing that song when she was wheeled into the procedure room. The song hadn't ended when she was wheeled back out, cast in place.  
  
Kaname was under the impression that she might be hearing that song for quite some time.  
  
Before leaving, Kaname decided to check Tomoe's coat pockets. She wanted to make certain that she hadn't misplaced her gloves. She hadn't. The gloves were crammed into the deepest depths of her coat by packets of cookies. Kaname gave her daughter The Enquiring Eye.  
  
"Mama, they said I could have a cookie for every bone I got right. I got a lot right." She sounded very pleased, and a bit defiant.  
  
"Is it OK?" Kaname asked the receptionists. "There will likely be other hungry children, and I don't want to leave your cupboard bare."  
  
"Oh, its fine. We have a lot more where that came from. She was a little angel." Tomoe had won over another crowd.  
  
Kaname thanked the receptionists for their impromptu babysitting and for the cookies. When she turned to leave, Tomoe tugged insistently at her coat.  
  
"You're forgetting something, Mama!" She pointed to a large bag on the floor. It was filled with cookies.  
  
She had done a very good job.  
  
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"Don't you forget what I told you, Kaname" Kyouko added, just before heading out the door.  
  
"You can't impose on me, I'm your best friend. And don't worry too much about Sousuke, I'm certain he'll return soon. He ALWAYS makes it back. He always comes back to you."  
  
That was just like Kyouko. Always so optimistic. Always intent on looking at the bright side of things. Kaname couldn't imagine a better friend.  
  
Kyouko had been able to stay a short while before running off to pick up her own children. She had brought Motoko home from school, reporting that he had caused quite a stir today---in a good way. He had surprised and impressed the other teachers by independently composing hokku, hakai, and haiku. According to folks in the know, some of his work was quite good.  
  
"Have you heard any good gossip from the old gang recently, Ky?" Kaname had asked at one point. Kyouko was all too glad to fill her in on the juicy details.  
  
"The biggest story has to do with Shinji and Mizuki. I would NEVER have guessed that the two of them would have ended up together. Apparently, they both had jobs in Kyoto, and ran across each other one day. Before they knew it, they were an item. Shinji told me they would be heading back here in a few months, when his transfer to the Tokyo offices of Mitsubishi takes effect." Kyouko shook her head, a big grin on her face.  
  
"He's still in engineering? I would have thought he would have joined the armed forces by now!" Kaname laughed. Kyouko had succeeded in raising her spirits.  
  
"Well, close enough. Apparently he will be doing design work on the next generation tank and a future Arm Slave,"  
  
"The follow-ups to the T-90 and the X8?"  
  
"If you say so, Kaname. Looks like you have been around Sousuke for much too long!" They could both laugh at that.  
  
"Yes. What else?"  
  
"Oh, yes! Thinking about Mizuki reminds me of something I read in the newspaper the other day. Satoru Shirai. He had gone into politics and was making quite a name for himself---until he was caught by a female police officer posing as a prostitute. It appears that he needed to be hospitalized after both his wife and his girlfriend caught up with him."  
  
"Serves him right! Once a pig, always a pig. I wish I had known. I would have sent him a sympathy card." Kaname had a wicked gleam in her eyes.  
  
"I'll have to remember to tell Mizuki when I see her again." Kyouko smiled. "I'll have to bring my camera when I do. It ought to be priceless."  
  
"You're priceless, Ky! This is the first time I've laughed like this in days. Any more news?"  
  
"I also heard from Ren. She's expecting her first child in July. It also sounds as if her husband is being promoted and moved to corporate headquarters in Tokyo. It would definitely be nice to get the old gang together again." Kyouko was already running ideas through her head, trying to think of a suitable reunion.  
  
"You're absolutely right!" Kaname would certainly love to see her friends again. It had been too long. She was praying for a different reunion first, however. How could she enjoy seeing all those couples, if her own significant other never returned home?  
  
After Kyouko left, and before starting dinner, Kaname spent some time thinking about old friends, reminiscing about happier times and wondering where some of them were now. When her thoughts turned to Melissa and Gordon, it felt as if her blood turned to ice water in her veins.  
  
Melissa!  
  
How had she managed to forget that Melissa was very likely caught up in the same trouble Sousuke was? That thought was strangely comforting in one way, but profoundly troubling in another. She had been so wrapped up in her own problems that she had forgotten that Melissa was one of the four Mithril soldiers who could pilot an Aegis.  
  
She would need to find time tomorrow and see if she could reach Gordon.  
  
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Kaname had started working on the laundry as dinner cooked, wading through the mounds of laundry she had avoided, sorting things by colors and fabrics. When she was finished, there was a pile of Sousuke's things and a pile of everyone else's. Things had not ended up that way by practicality.  
  
They ended up that way by design.  
  
At first, the thought of her husband's clothes being left untended equated with Sousuke being lost in a foreign land. She had felt her heart race a moment after making that analogy. Next, she slid a bit into depression, wondering if this would be the last time she ever did his laundry. Both feelings were brushed aside by a growing sense of purpose.  
  
Kaname wanted to do something for Sousuke. She could focus more on him, not herself. His clothes may be the lowest priority by actual need, but they were the highest priority according to her heart.  
  
She loaded Sousuke's clothes first.  
  
Dinner went relatively smoothly. Moto and Tomoe began to get a bit combative when the subject of casts came up. Tomoe had one, so she was in a position of great power. Moto did not, so he was low man on the totem pole. When it looked as if her two little darlings were about to initiate a more kinetic expression of their sibling rivalry, Kaname brought up the subject of haiku.  
  
"Moto, I would greatly appreciate it if you were to put that handful of vegetables back on your plate. Your backside will end up being thankful as well."  
  
Kaname smiled. Moto had a worried look in his eyes, as if realizing that the More Energetic Mother was making an encore appearence.  
  
"I understand that you were writing haiku at school today. Would you like to share it with us?"  
  
Moto's eyes brightened.  
  
"Yes, mother, that would be grand. But...." he stuck out his tongue and rolled his eyes at his sister. "I doubt Tomoe would understand it." He finished by crossing his arms over his chest with a "Hmmppff" that sounded a great deal like his mothers.  
  
"Well, how about you tell just me then. Tomoe can listen if she likes."  
  
Moto sifted mentally through his best work, selecting the ones that he thought his mother might enjoy. His last choice caught his sister's attention:  
  
'The first Winter morning  
  
The mirror I stare into  
  
Shows my father's face.'  
  
The effect on Tomoe was near electric. She stood up on her chair, teetering precariously, her cast hanging much too close to the edge for Kaname's liking.  
  
"Daddy's a haiku? I want to do one too! Mama, can I?"  
  
"Yes, sweetheart. Go right ahead. I'm certain it will be wonderful" Kaname looked at Moto, daring him to contradict her.  
  
Moto murmured under his breath. "It's not a problem." His mother didn't hear what he said, but she did a decent job of reading his lips. She had to fight to keep from smiling.  
  
Tomoe had a very serious look on her face. She sat back down and looked as contemplative as a four year old can look. Finally, she stood back up again.  
  
'I love my Daddy  
  
I hope he gets home soon  
  
Did I do good Mama?'  
  
"That's VERY good sweetheart, almost as good as Moto's." Kaname reached over and tussled Tomoe's hair, making her squeak like a little mouse.  
  
"Mother!!!" Moto, obviously, was not a fan of maternal charity. "It's supposed to be 5, then 7, then 5. Seventeen syllables. The form of the verse and the joining of its two parts should seem as light as a shallow river flowing over its sandy bed. There was no impression, no sensation, no drama."  
  
Kaname almost fell out of her chair. A six year old speaking about flowing rivers and drama?  
  
"She didn't even use a kigo!" At least he wasn't quoting military manuals. This time.  
  
"I understand, Moto." That in actuality was a lie. "That might not have been sufficient for anyone else, but it was just perfect for Tomoe."  
  
"Where is that written down?" Moto was rather peeved.  
  
"I'll show you, as soon as I have time to write it down." Kaname's look caught Moto like a deer in a truck's headlights.  
  
After the table was cleared, Kaname resumed her work on the laundry. The children had run off into the living room to perform the Wednesday night rituals. Moto would take his father's place. The movie he selected was "Ran." There would be plenty he could teach his sister using that film as inspiration. When they were not discussing the finer parts of honor or strategy, the two children were busy coloring Tomoe's cast.  
  
Checking on them later, their mother discovered that the medical construct was now decorated with fortresses, temples, samurai, bowmen, and cavalry--- with a few kittens, butterflies, and rainbows thrown in for good measure. The central place of merit belonged to a tree.  
  
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Kaname was exhausted by the time she got both children under their covers. She was quite content to let Moto tell the story that evening. The tale had started off in such a promising fashion.  
  
'A young boy and his beloved sister were playing happily in the park, chasing butterflies and doing cartwheels in the summer breeze. Their mother watched with pride, as they bowed to her with respect and began to recite their lessons.'  
  
Of course, it was simply a dramatic contrast. Things degenerated rather quickly thereafter.  
  
'The tail of the scaley green behemoth squashed people and buildings alike, sending brains and blood raining down on the children and small animals below. The evil controlling aliens and their mindless clone armada were waiting to turn the entire planet into one gigantic bowl of soup! Would the secret weapon, far beyond the usual capability of any normal scientist, be ready in time to stop the horrible smorgasboard?'  
  
Kaname sighed. Looking over at Tomoe, who was clapping happily, she sighed again.  
  
The children wanted Aesop's fables next, but their mother had a different idea. She had done some thinking while she did the laundry, trying to assess all the things she had done and had not been able to do over the past few days.  
  
"Mama's going to tell you a different kind of parable tonight. I read this in a book at work." She had come across the particular lesson in a book on time management techniques. It struck a chord within her today.  
  
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Once upon a time, a businessman was speaking to a group of business students, and to teach them a very important point, he took out a one- gallon jar and put it on the table in front of them. He also took out twelve rocks as big as his fists and put them one by one into the jar, until no more would fit.  
  
He asked the class "Is the jar full yet?"  
  
Everyone answered "Yes!"  
  
The business man smiled. He said "Really?" He then reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. He dumped some into the jar...shook the jar...and dumped some more in. The pieces of gravel worked their way into the spaces between the big rocks.  
  
He asked the group again "Is the jar full?"  
  
The class had gotten wise to his approach. "Probably not!" one of them answered.  
  
"Very good" said the businessman. He reached under the table and brought up a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand into the jar and it filled the spaces between the gravel and larger rocks.  
  
"Is this jar full?" he asked again.  
  
"No!" the class shouted.  
  
Once again he said "Good." He grabbed a pitcher of water and poured it until the jar was filled to the top. When he was finished, he asked the class to tell him what he was trying to teach them about their future in business.  
  
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Kaname looked at Moto and then at Tomoe. "Do you know what he was trying to teach them?"  
  
Tomoe shook her head, lost.  
  
Moto thought a moment, then offered an interpretation. "No matter how busy you are at your business, there is always a way to get more done!"  
  
Kaname was very impressed with her son's reasoning ability. "That is a valid interpretation, but it was not the message the businessman wanted to teach." She returned to the parable.  
  
"He said, 'If you don't put the big rocks in first, you will never get them in at all.'  
  
"He explained to the students that the Big Rocks were things like faith, family, friends, teaching, and learning. He told them that they needed to put those things in first. After that, they could deal with the less important and smaller things."  
  
Tomoe, as expected, was totally uninterested. The fables were fun. THEY had animals!  
  
Moto pondered the lesson, nodding his head. He might be able to walk away with some insight from this tale. Kaname wasn't concerned whether or not they understood the message she mentioned. She had told that parable more for her own benefit.  
  
She would be certain that she had all of her big things in her jar. She would take care of the smaller things when she was able.  
  
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Kaname decided to treat herself to a glass of fine French wine. She and Sousuke usually saved their favorite vintage for special occasions---she was not concerned with that, as this felt like a special occasion. She missed Sousuke terribly. She was still somewhat depressed, and wrestled with moments of guilt. But, she also began to seize upon the first signs of hope.  
  
She was turning an emotional corner.  
  
She would carry on as if Sousuke WOULD be back, until she was proven wrong. And if by chance he would never return, she began to realize that she COULD carry on without him.  
  
She made certain not to drink too much. She needed her wits about her at that moment. She had to determine whether she was experiencing true labor contractions or false labor contractions.  
  
So far, the contractions were irregular, and they had not changed in their timing. They did not occur closer and closer together, and they did not last longer and longer. Although sometimes painful, the contractions were relatively weak, and they were not gradually building in intensity. The discomfort that she did feel was basically localized to the front of her abdomen. The contractions also seemed to change there pattern based on her posture and her level of activity.  
  
Kaname was fairly confident that she was experiencing Braxton-Hicks contractions, the body's way of getting the uterus ready for true labor somewhere down the road. She did not feel inclined to call her OB doctor. She did not think that it was appropriate to give Sgt. Takaoka and his wife a call yet. This pregnancy ought to follow a course very similar to the one with Tomoe. The first pregnancy is usually the one that is different than the rest.  
  
When she finished her glass of wine, Kaname decided it was time to turn in. Before she did that, she walked over into the entry hallway. She looked at Sousuke's picture, and spoke as if she were talking to him in person.  
  
She told his picture about the way she had been feeling since he had left. She spoke about the things that she had accomplished in his absence. She mentioned all of the ups and the downs. She whispered an apology. She offered all of her love.  
  
"Hurry home, Sousuke. I need you. Moto needs you. Tomoe needs you. Shusaku needs you." 


	4. Chapter 4

THURSDAY  
  
Kaname managed a good five hours of sleep over an eight hour period.  
  
First, a loud clap of thunder had startled her out of a somewhat shallow sleep. After falling back to sleep for an hour, Moto woke her, reporting that Tomoe had been awakened by that same noise, staying awake afterwards, crying about the large monster outside.  
  
When she had finished comforting her daughter, Kaname was gifted with three more hours of rest before the phone rang. Wrong number. It took her a while to fall asleep after that---for a brief moment, before she answered, she had wondered if it was news of Sousuke. She managed a solid three hours of solid sleep, waking up an hour earlier than usual for no discernible reason.  
  
She did a quick calculation of the time at various parts of the globe and decided to see if she could reach Gordon. Worried about Melissa, he might have been able to find out something about the Special Response Team. She tried his home phone with no luck. Calling Camp Pendleton, she was informed that he and his team were away on a mission.  
  
It was far too early to call Greta. She might have heard something through Kurz, if he had not been sent into action in an M10, supporting Sousuke, Melissa, and the two other AEG-1s. Having waited as long as she had, she could not bring herself to wake Greta in the middle of the night. She would need to wait another ten or eleven hours to place the call. By that time, she may well be in the hospital.  
  
Once the children woke up, she followed the same routine of getting them dressed, fed, groomed, and delivered to Day Care and school. Everything went smooth as silk. She stopped by the office to shuffle a few papers and check her phone messages. After that, she took the rest of the day off--- there were things that she now felt compelled to get done at home.  
  
Kaname called a cleaning service she had used before. Having been informed of a cancellation, they were able to send someone out post-haste. That would take care of vacuuming, scrubbing, polishing, dusting, waxing, and mopping.  
  
She would take care of the miscellaneous chores---picking up, organizing, straightening, and rearranging.  
  
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Making good progress in her quest to master her emotions, Kaname was somewhat shocked to see just how disheveled the kid's room had become. Toys, books, puzzles, DVDs, and clothes formed heaps, piles, and towers. One curtain was off its runner. Moto's bed held his two pillows and his sister's two pillows. The goldfish and the hamster gave her pleading looks. There was an unidentifiable spot on the rug.  
  
Kaname, somewhat energized despite her spotty night's rest, make quick work of the mess...until she came across a book laying open on the floor.  
  
It was Moto's book.  
  
Famous Myths And Messages Of The World.  
  
Picking it up, she noticed that it was opened to a page describing the legend of the Phoenix.  
  
The painting of that glorious bird drew her attention. She sat down on the edge of Moto's bed, thinking about parallels between that myth and her own recent trials and tribulations. Kaname was not a big fan of myths and legends, but she started reading.  
  
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The tale of the Phoenix is one of the greatest myths of all times. It shows up in the myths and legends of Egypt, Ancient Greece, China, and Arabian nations. The Greeks probably borrowed the story from the Egyptians. American Indians have a legend of the Thunderbird---their own version of the Phoenix---a powerful spirit taking the form of a bird, lightning flashing from its beak and rolling waves of thunder rushing from its wings.  
  
The word Phoenix comes from the Greek word for palm tree. In Greek and Egyptian mythology, the Phoenix represented the sun, which perishes in flames each evening, only to rise again the next morning. It was described as being bigger than an eagle, with brilliant scarlet, gold, and purple plummage and a melodius cry.  
  
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Kaname noticed a similarity early on. She looked good in those colors. With a little encouragement, Sousuke might come to realize how much better she would look with another touch of gold. Hmmm. Why stop at one?  
  
The melodius cry? She wasn't about to answer that one herself. She'd ask Sousuke. If he knew what was good for him, he'd answer in the proper fashion, placing little priority on honesty or reality. If he didn't, he might get a first hand demonstration of that cry!!!  
  
Kaname decided it would be wiser to finagle a promise about jewelry BEFORE she asked about anything else.  
  
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There was only one Phoenix at a time.  
  
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"Bingo!" Kaname certainly was one of a kind.  
  
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It lived for 500 years....  
  
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"Uh uhhh. No way. No thanks."  
  
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It laid no eggs, had no young, and it was there when the world began.  
  
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"Hmmm." There were certainly advantages to that.  
  
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It was a beautiful and strong firebird, magnificent in its youth.  
  
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"Right on target!"  
  
What was the name of the man who had told the story in Ancient Greece? The book said 'Herotodus.'  
  
Well, Herotodus must have had a vision of Kaname.  
  
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When it began to feel weak and old, it would build a nest out of twigs of cassia and frankincense, set it afire, and immolate itself in the fragrant flames. From this funeral pyre a new Phoenix would come forth.  
  
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"I'll pass."  
  
Kaname decided that it was good enough to share traits with the Phoenix. There was no reason to follow every little detail. That would be plagarism, copyright infringement, or piracy!  
  
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In Egyptian legends, the new Phoenix would embalm the prior phoenix in an egg of myyrrh and carry those ahses to the City Of The Sun in Egypt, depositing them on the altar of the Egyptian Sun god. There are some that think that the Phoenix came to be a symbol of immortality and spiritual rebirth to early Christians.  
  
In Chinese mythology, the Phoenix is the symbol of high virtue, grace, power, and prosperity.  
  
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"How true!"  
  
More amazing similarities. The thought of prosperity made her frown momentarily, her eyes growing narrow. Mythril certainly paid Sousuke well, and frugal as he had been as a bachelor, he had acquired a respectable bankroll. Still, she didn't think any amount of recompense made up for the risks he took.  
  
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To the Chinese, the Phoenix represents the union of yin and yang. It was portrayed as the most gentle of creatures, supposedly sitting or landing so lightly that it crushed or disturbed nothing. It lived entirely on dewdrops.  
  
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"Wrong!"  
  
No. The Chinese can keep their version of the Phoenix. Kaname preferred the Greek version. Furthermore, the tail feathers of the Chinese bird were black, white, red, green, and yellow. A horrid fashion statement.  
  
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From the earliest days of recorded history, man has always regarded fire as a sacred gift of the gods. Fire gives light and warmth. The sun does the same. No one should be surprised that early humans came to believe that the sun was a god, worshipping it. Fire also has the power to cleanse, to purify. In many forests and other environments, occasional widespread fires are necessary to burn away old and dead material, stimulating rebirth and new growth. If the fire did not blaze its path, the land would stagnate and die.  
  
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Kaname sat still a moment, temporarily forgetting about the book. The hardships and emotional difficulties she had faced over the past week had burned across her world like a roaring fire.  
  
At first, such unwanted challenges appeared likely to leave her life in shambles. Perhaps they had done more than that. What positive things might she take away from all this?  
  
She remained lost in thought, thinking about her life with and without Sousuke. A few days ago, she would cling tightly to those memories at one moment---as if they were the only things keeping her afloat. Moments later. the same memories would fill her with panic or sorrow---as if they threatened to drag her under.  
  
Now, she could smile and hold onto hope instead.  
  
Kaname thought about her earliest years, and how wonderful it was to be part of a loving family. It was one reason she was so happy with Sousuke--- she had gained the chance to feel that way again. She could provide her children with the same wonderful opportunity.  
  
Her thoughts drifted to darker years. The loss of her mother. Leaving the land of her birth. Returning to a nation of people who did not seem to want her there. Living alone. Overcoming it all and earning her place in people's hearts and winning their admiration.  
  
She remembered the first time she had seen Sousuke---mussed up hair, clueless look, an actual gun in his bookcase. That military moron! Oh, how he had made her life interesting early on. Interesting was the politically correct word. No doubt 'Sousuke' is a swear word in certain foreign languages.  
  
Intrusions into the girls' locker room. Tackling teachers. Destroying artwork. Blowing up shoeboxes and lockers. Kissing Mizuki! Bonta-Kun. Guns, grenades, knives, Arm Slaves, underwater sleds, submarines, and secret bases. Kidnapping, experimentation, escape, Whispered powers, traitors, take-overs, and rescues. Kurz and Melissa. Rivalry with Tessa. Faxes. Condoms. Misunderstandings. Hospitals. "Homework." BALLOONS! Dates. Cat Fights. Contests. Fishing. The Opera. More kidnapping, imprisonment, and scientific research. College. Lies and terrible loss. Drifting, searching, growing, moving on. Finding Sousuke again. Passion. Love. Togetherness. Engagement and early marriage. Children and the joys they brought.  
  
It would be anyone's guess how long she might have stayed like that--- thinking, smiling, hoping. The maid happened to look in the room and ask if she was alright. Snapping out of her reminiscence, Kaname thanked the woman for her concern and said that she was doing fine. She turned back to the book, trying to reconnect the caboose in her train of thought.  
  
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To the jeweler or refiner, fire is required to separate the dross from the gold. To the blacksmith or metalworker, fire is needed to temper the steel. But, those are not simple tasks. Nor are they without their share of danger. Purification by fire can be hazardous. It can readily get out of control. It must not be taken lightly.  
  
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Once again Kaname saw the parallels. She did not enjoy the process she was going through, but had managed to keep it within reasonable limits. Whether or not she would be stronger for it all remained to be seen. Her time in the fire was not over yet. The baby was on his way. Sousuke was not home.  
  
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According to legend, the Phoenix only appears in peaceful and prosperous times. hiding itself away in times of strife and trouble.  
  
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"WRONG!!!"  
  
If he hadn't died centuries ago, Herodotus would have gotten a nasty note or phone call from Kaname.  
  
"Big Greek moron."  
  
Kaname had not been hiding herself away.  
  
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Many people fear the renewing process or purification, even though it is needed periodically in the best and worst of times. They resist change at all cost, trying to hold onto their view of order, harmony, and reality. Disagreements are viewed as threats of great severity.  
  
And yet, chaos theory has taught scholars that the highest order is born from the greatest chaos. Where does the greatest creativity and learning take place? At the edge of chaos! Our personal fire and chaos can be an illness, a troubled relationship, a financial difficulty---anything drastic and significant.  
  
We have the opportunity to rise wiser, better, stronger, and more focused on our goals in life. But, the new Phoenix takes great care to preserve the ashes of the past. It does not adhere to the past, unchanging. It remembers and honors the best of the past.  
  
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"Sousuke."  
  
He was one of the better parts of her past. Hopefully the present and future as well.  
  
"I do honor you, Sousuke."  
  
Finished with her reading, Kaname continued with her mission. When she finally decided to take a rest, she fixed herself a tall glass of tea and grabbed a plate of fruit to nibble on.  
  
She was chewing on her first mouthful when the phone rang.  
  
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The telephone can be an ally or an enemy to the military wife. Sometimes, the woman is uncertain which it was until she puts the phone to her ear. The allegiance can change at any moment.  
  
Kaname sat transfixed for a few rings, before checking the Caller ID and grabbing the handset before the answering machine kicked in.  
  
It was Ayame.  
  
"Kaname, it's been too long!" It had been two months since she had heard from her younger sister. She briefly wondered why Ayame's voice had such a vibrant quality to it.  
  
"Yes it has. But that's not why you're calling. You have some big news to tell me." Kaname had a suspicion what it might be.  
  
"I never could fool you, could I? Dad, yes. You, never. Except that time I left a message on Sousuke answering machine!"  
  
She had called Sousuke's answering machine once, at a time when he and Kaname were living together, before their engagement. Her voice had been unrecognizable. She spoke as if she was someone who had shared a night of intimacy with Sousuke, looking for a repeat performance.  
  
"Let's not bring that up now. Not if you want to have a cheerful conversation!" Kaname was only kidding. At the time of that earlier message, she had been rather demonstrative in a physical fashion.  
  
Poor Sousuke had suffered unfairly, but she maintained to this very day that he had deserved it. For something. It didn't matter what. There were a lot of things to choose from.  
  
"OK, Sis. You can guess why I'm calling?" Ayame's voice left nothing to doubt.  
  
"Breast implants?" Kaname had to keep from laughing. That was a sore subject with her sister. And their father. Ayame had no need for augmentation, but had wanted to enhance her visibility.  
  
"Kaname!!!"  
  
"No? Hmmm. Your first kiss? With a man?" She had caught her sister practicing her kissing won a mirror when she had returned to Japan for one visit. She had kept Ayame in the bathroom for more than an hour scrubbing off the lipstick residue.  
  
"Very funny. Ha ha hahh."  
  
"Congratulations." Kaname didn't want to cheapen the moment. "No wonder you sound so excited."  
  
"Kaname, you didn't guess...."  
  
"Oh, sorry. You and Doug are engaged?" That HAD to be the answer.  
  
"Yes. Isn't it great news? We'll have to come to Japan to meet with you, Sousuke, and the kids. By the way, shouldn't you be in the hospital by now? What's taking that baby so long?"  
  
"It won't be too much longer. I think I have started to feel true contractions." Kaname had noticed a feeling like a mild backache, and the contractions she was feeling had become more regular and more painful.  
  
"Is Sousuke ready? Is he excited, or nervous?"  
  
Kaname did not answer.  
  
"Kaname? Are you still there? Are you in pain, Kaname?" Ayame wondered if her sister was unable to talk, going through an intense labor pain.  
  
"I'm here, Ayame. Sousuke isn't." Kaname had wanted to elaborate voluntarily, but found it difficult to go any further without prompting. She DID want to talk about Sousuke, however.  
  
"You mean he's still at work, or with the kids? Haven't you called him to come home?" Ayame sounded puzzled.  
  
"No, Ayame. Sousuke isn't in the country."  
  
This time there was silence on Ayame's end of the phone. "But..."  
  
"He was away on business." Ayame had found out about Sousuke's profession, but they never spoke of it directly.  
  
"He was supposed to be gone less than a week. It's been more than two weeks. No one has heard from him." Kaname felt herself shivering ever so slightly. Her hand had a slight tremor.  
  
"Oh no! Kaname, you must be so worried. Are you OK? I can catch a flight this afternoon if you need me!" Ayame would do just that if Kaname asked her to.  
  
"It's all taken care of, Ayame. I've got people lined up for everything I need. There's nothing you can do to help bring Sousuke back to me. That's what I need most. You've helped a lot, just by calling."  
  
Kaname voice cracked, but she quickly recovered. "But let's talk more about you. This is a rather special phone call...."  
  
They chatted a while longer until Kaname had needed to thank the maid and pay her for her hard work. It had been nice speaking with her sister. Kaname felt a little fresher, a little stronger.  
  
Another flap of the wings for the new Phoenix.  
  
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Kaname took a brief tour of the apartment. Everything looked so clean, so nice. Everything smelled so fresh. That served to boost her spirit even further.  
  
While there was still plenty of time, Kaname made certain that she had packed everything that she needed for the hospital. When she had finished, she wrote a short note for Sousuke, just in case he made it home safely after she had already left.  
  
No doubt he would have a good notion where she might be---if he didn't, people at the day care, elementary school, JSDF base, or her office could point him in the right direction. She wrote the note because it felt like the right thing to do.  
  
She made certain to write "I Love You" three times, underscored and emphasized.  
  
When she passed her mucus plug, Kaname knew it was time to keep a written log of her contractions. She had passed some blood, but no more than the size of a 1 yen or 50 yen coin. There was no cause for concern.  
  
When her contractions had reached a certain frequency and duration, it was time to start with her phone calls. She called Kyouko, who gladly agreed to drive Moto back to the apartment after school. She was dialing the number for the Day Care Center when she heard a noise that made her catch her breath and put the handset back down again.  
  
Keys in the front door.  
  
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Souske had thanked the recovery squad and caught an immediate series of flights back to Japan. He had not headed back to the TDD-3 for debriefing. He did not see to the proper stowage of his surviving equipment. He did not eat, shower, change, or shave.  
  
He had been away from home for far too long. He didn't want to wait even a minute longer than he had to.  
  
Certainly, Cmdr. Horowitz and Lt. Cmdr. Ben-Elieden might be enraged or unhappy, but Sousuke felt certain they would understand. He also felt certain that they had gotten his point---Mithril now needed Sousuke Sagara far more than Sousuke Sagara needed Mithril.  
  
He was grateful for all that had been done for him. He appreciated all of the opportunities that he had been given. But, he had given them everything that he had.  
  
Again and again and again.  
  
It was time to take a little something back. Short of a hit squad, he did not fear any repercussion his actions might have. He knew they would not go that far!  
  
As it was, he had come close to death many more times than he had expected to during this mission. He couldn't help but think about the dual life he led, and what effect his life or death would have on Kaname and the children. The battle had been necessary this time, and the outcome was the best they could have hoped for tactically.  
  
But, they had lost all four of the Aegis Arm Slaves. Of the four AEG pilots who headed out to war, only he and Melissa returned. There would be time before more AEG units could be bought and built. That would give Sousuke a reprieve, for certain. But, being one of only two people with a needed capability would prove to be a problem.  
  
Again and again and again.  
  
The AEG-1 was a large ungainly beast, and Sousuke despised the craft for that reason. On the other hand, it was a phenomenal test bed of technology still in its infancy. The heavy Diffuser module could defeat or diminish the effects of handheld scalar weapons, some of which were still in the possession of Amalgam and groups they subcontracted work out to. The Lambda Disruptor could wreck havoc with an opposing AS's Lambda Driver capability-- -if it did not do the same to the given AS or its brethren. The weapons load was remarkable, as well. The tow capacity was unheard of.  
  
The AEG craft would not replace the HBD-5s, M10s or spare M9s, except in certain types of skirmishes. They would, however, play an ever increasing crucial role on the battlefield. That fact placed a lot of pressure squarely on Sousuke's shoulders.  
  
He wasn't certain that he wanted to carry that weight any longer.  
  
For the first time in his military career, he began to think about passing the torch. He wanted to continue in a training capacity. It might be time to end his participation in future combat operations.  
  
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It was Sousuke. It had to be. Who else would have keys?  
  
He hadn't called. Or if he had, he didn't leave a phone message. A part of Kaname was enraged. Sosuske would pay for that!  
  
On the other hand, she doubted that she would ever forget the feeling she was experiencing now, waiting for that door to open. She would find a suitable way to reward him.  
  
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The first thing Sousuke saw when he opened the door was Kaname. She was surrounded by a small suitcase, a travel tote, and a baby bag.  
  
For a moment, he found he couldn't move. He couldn't speak. He couldn't hear. It felt as if time had stopped.  
  
His duffel bag fell to the floor.  
  
He dropped his keys.  
  
He didn't notice how clean the apartment was. He took no notice of the finger paintings taped to the entryway wall. He had no opportunity to read the haiku taped to the opposite wall.  
  
His eyes remained glued to Kaname's face.  
  
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They both started walking towards one another slowly, at the same time, as if by some unspoken agreement.  
  
Kaname saw that Sousuke was dirty, bloody, unshaven, with tattered clothing that looked more like rags than a uniform. He hadn't even spared the time it took to put on fresh clothes. Lucky for him!  
  
He walked with a limp and held his left arm tightly against his side. One side of his face was swollen, and the area around one eye was darkly bruised.  
  
He was the most wonderful sight that she had ever seen.  
  
They stopped just short of one another, looking into one another's eyes. They both saw everything they wanted to see, and more. Their kiss wasn't the most exciting or romantic moment that they ever shared, but both would be hard pressed to remember one they had looked forward to more than that.  
  
Kaname had promised herself that she wouldn't cry. She couldn't keep that promise. Sousuke had thought about many ways to apologize, but found he could say but four words.  
  
"I love you, Kaname." At that moment, anything else would have been superfluous.  
  
Kaname too had thought long and hard about what she wanted to say. Instead, she spoke the first words that came to mind.  
  
"You BETTER, Sousuke!!!"  
  
She smiled, the tears still falling. Souske didn't need a translator. Those words meant 'I love you, Sousuke; but if I say it, I'll melt into a puddle on the floor.'  
  
Those would have been apropos words at that moment.  
  
It had happened earlier than Kaname would have expected.  
  
Her water broke.  
  
"Sousuke, the water broke." It was time to get going.  
  
"Kaname? That is not important now. I can call the plumber later...."  
  
Sousuke had a straight face. Kaname didn't know if he were joking, or lapsing back into a Sousuke-moment.  
  
"SOUSUKE!!!" 


End file.
